Usefullness verses Busyness

It is not in my nature to "be still and know I am God."  I want to be doing... talking to friends, going grocery shopping, doing something with my hands, serving others... I am happiest when I am "doing."  However over the past couple of months, I haven't had a leading to work anywhere.  Sure Jon and I have been applying for jobs, EVERYWHERE.  But I used that as an excuse not to serve.  "I don't want to burn out before we go into God's mission field."- "I don't want to get involved only for God to move us to another state"- that was my pathetic mentality.  Then, I realized the truth...  It came to me through a devotional book I have been reading, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.  

"Demonstrate your trust in Me by sitting quietly in My Presence.  

Put aside all that is waiting to be done, and refuse to worry about anything.  

This sacred time togetherstrengthens youand prepares you 

to face whatever the day will bring.  

By waiting with Me before you begin the day's activities, 

you proclaim the reality of My living Presence.  

This act of faith-

waiting before working-

is noted in the spirit world, where you demonstration of trust 

weakens principalities and powers of darkness.  

...The world is so complex and overstimulating 

that you can easily lose your sense of direction.

Doing COUNTLESS UNNECESSARY ACTIVITIES

will dissipate your energy.  

When you spend time with Me, 

I restore your sense of direction.  

As you look to me for guidance, 

I enable you do to less but accomplish more.

This devotional was followed up the following Sunday in church.  (Isn't that like our God? better yet, Isn't that like my stubborn heart, to need a follow up to God's direct leading???)  So I took heed, this time.  I took what God placed in my heart and I began to serve.  Serve God faithfully in my church, serve others in a local Children's Home, serve my daughter more faithfully with more patience in the afternoons.  Pray more diligently for my husband and our situation.  It looks like I am more "busy" on paper, but in my heart, this service is the restoration of my sense of direction.  I feel more relaxed and at peace than I have in the past 3 months.